Let’s be honest: Every modern marketer secretly wants to be a Twinkie.
Not because of the flavor profile (questionable), or the ingredient list (deeply concerning), or the rumored ability to survive every apocalypse except the budget review meeting. But because Twinkies last.
They don’t bruise, wilt, brown, or get quietly dropped from the quarterly forecast. They endure.
Marketers, meanwhile, are out here living in fear of becoming the forgotten banana in the breakroom, bright and promising one moment, browning and blamed the next.
And the data on marketer longevity doesn’t help:
- Forbes puts the average CMO tenure at 3.5 years. That’s basically the executive equivalent of a goldfish’s memory.
- The Wall Street Journal and LinkedIn say CMO tenure has hit a ten-year low.
- And yet, 95% of the buyer journey happens digitally, without sales and in marketing’s backyard.
So how is the function that owns 95% of the buyer experience treated like the business’s most perishable item? Why does CMO career survival feel like a reality show—one where everyone’s competing to keep their job?
Two words: Perception. Problem.
It’s not that marketers aren’t delivering. It’s that the story around their impact isn’t being told or measured well enough. They need a better marketing career strategy.
This is where the Twinkie renaissance begins.
Why Marketers Go Stale (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)
When marketers get cycled out, it’s rarely because they lacked vision, creativity, or strategy. It’s usually because they were set up like a fresh banana in a humid room: great intentions, terrible conditions.
Here are the real villains of the story.
1. The Cult of the Quick Win
Every quarter demands a miracle. Not a modest improvement.
You’re expected to build brand equity, redesign the website, triple inbound pipeline, launch ABM, master AI, and “just throw in some viral social content too.”
No pressure.
2. Marketing Still Gets Framed as a Cost Center
You know pipeline is influenced by dozens of touches. You know brand fuels trust. You know demand takes time. But if your CFO doesn’t know too? You’re the line item under the red pen.
3. The Role Has Expanded Faster Than Humanly Possible
Marketers have to be a data scientist, a storyteller, an ops expert, a creative director, a behavioral psychologist, an analyst, a technologist, and a part-time therapist for sales.
It’s a lot.
And yet most CMOs still don’t have ownership of data, CX, or revenue planning.
4. Everyone Thinks They Know Marketing
Because they have a LinkedIn account. Or saw a cool Super Bowl ad once.
You can be a world-class marketer, but if you’re not a world-class translator of your value, your shelf life shortens.
To future-proof your marketing career, you need to stop surviving quarter-to-quarter and start becoming shelf-stable.
What It Means to Be a Twinkie Marketer
A Twinkie marketer isn’t the loudest, flashiest, or trendiest. They’re the marketer who endures, because their value is undeniable, unmistakable, and irreplaceable.
Twinkie marketers:
- Make marketing’s impact un-ignorable. They tie everything to the metrics CEOs and CFOs wake up thinking about: revenue speed, CAC efficiency, retention lift.
- Build compounding value. They invest in evergreen content, SEO foundations, communities, brand equity, customer stories—assets that get more powerful every quarter.
- Create alignment with revenue teams. They turn sales and customer success managers from skeptics into advocates.
- Lead with clarity, not chaos. They define strategy once and let tactics flex, instead of reinventing the plan every 90 days.
- Deliver the narrative and the numbers. They don’t just show dashboards; they tell the story behind them.
Twinkie marketers don’t expire. They outlast trends, teams, and even reorganizations.
The Twinkie Formula: How to Be an Irreplaceable Marketer
The good news: Twinkie-ness is not genetic. It’s learned. Here’s how to build a marketing career strategy that lasts.
1. Speak the Language of Money
You extend your shelf life every time you translate marketing metrics into business outcomes.
Instead of: “Look, 4,000 leads!”
Try: “This program accelerated pipeline velocity by 18% and influenced $3.2M in opportunities.”
Executives don’t remember your lead form fill rate. They remember your contribution to revenue.
2. Build Things That Get More Valuable Over Time
If your work evaporates the moment the campaign ends, so does your perceived value.
If your work compounds with content libraries, ABM engines, buyer journey insights, lifecycle automation, you become indispensable.
3. Align With Sales (Even If It Requires Snacks, Bribes, or Therapy)
Nothing ensures CMO career survival like the CRO saying: “Marketing helped close that deal.”
4. Architect Your Attribution Narrative
Attribution isn’t a scoreboard. It’s a survival mechanism. Tell your attribution story clearly, consistently, and in a way the business can’t refute.
5. Adapt Within a Strategy, Not Instead of One
Great marketers don’t chase every shiny object. They adapt tactics without ever losing their strategic spine.
Long-term marketing success doesn’t mean rigid. It means centered.
Why This Matters Now More Than Ever
Marketing is in the middle of a seismic shift:
- AI is speeding up execution.
- Buyer journeys are happening entirely outside sales.
- Budgets are shrinking.
- Data is splintering.
- Differentiation is harder than ever.
All of this makes marketers more critical to revenue than at any other time in business history.
But only the Twinkies, the ones who build undeniable, revenue-tied impact, will get the marketer longevity they deserve.
Bananas don’t survive in this climate. Twinkies do. And so will you.
Don’t Just Extend Your Shelf Life. Take Over the Pantry.
Marketing leaders aren’t disposable. But marketing without a clear, strategic, revenue-tied story is. Your goal is permanence, not survival. To build long-term marketing success on a foundation of programs, proof, and partnership so solid that replacing you would set the business back years.
You need to be the Twinkie of the C-suite. You need marketing leadership resilience, reliability, and staying power.
At BOL, we don’t just help companies grow, we help future-proof marketing careers. We give you the strategy, data, and credibility to cement your role as the indispensable engine of revenue.
Ready to become shelf-stable? Let’s build your Twinkie strategy.